Dark: The Saga of Ravens
by pritch999
Summary: This is currently a story about a group of OCs and how some of them arrive at Fairy Tail and their general Adventures. Chapter 6 Gonzo goes crazy, also this is the last chapter reasons explained in the authors notes and afterword
1. Chapter 1 Genesis

Dark: The Saga of Ravens

Chapter 1: Genesis

**Foreword**

First things first this is my first fanfic so be gentle

This story is about my OCs and the first few chapters will be only OCs so bear with me I will get to Fairy Tail eventually and if no-one likes any of my OCs then I will probably let this die

Also I do plan on putting some parings and maybe lemon (hence why it's M) in here

I plan to kill off/write out any of my characters that doesn't fit or that people don't like

At the moment in the time line this story is just before the S-class trial arc

I would just like to say here that I apologise in advance for any spelling mistakes or grammar: my full-proof excuse is that I'm crap.

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything apart from the nine "Original" characters, if you are of a nervous disposition or are easily offended then this probably ain't your thing, you have been warned**

"speech"

'thinking'

(me (author) talking)

Kuro stirred. He wasn't one for sleeping in, but recently it seemed he has been doing it more and more.

"It's about time, I've been waiting for you to wake up for ages."

Kuro snapped his eyes open and shot a glare at the intruder sitting on the chair by the window.

"Hay don't get mad at me, I didn't wake you up." The intruder answered the glare.

"Get nn fucn onn" came the mumbled reply from the recently awake

"No need to be like that, I came to tell you we got a job so get ready I'll be waiting downstairs."

As the intruder finally left Kuro contemplated returning to that peaceful bliss known as sleep, but no, he was awake, dam.

'How many times have I told people "don't go in my room especially when I'm asleep" and yet everyone does it. Maybe I need to get a guard dog and train it to hate all my "so-called" friends, that'll stop em.'

After smirking at the thought of his friends cowering in fear of his imaginary mastiff, Kuro pried himself out of bed, an action that is deeply traumatic to humans (or maybe just me)

He took a look at his room as though he forgot how the-place-he-lived looked like. His room was a decent size for his needs, a double bed dominated the room (as it should) with a cabinet, chest of draws, chest and wardrobe taking up most of the rest. Through the open door, that a certain inconsiderate person person forgot to close, he could see the rest of what he called "home."

He walked through the door into the "living"room, actually it was more of a living-room/study as there was a bookshelf and desk in addition to what you would normally find in a typical Fiore living-room: couches, chairs, coffee-table (which the same certain someone seems to have left a dirty plate and mug as a present, how sweet.) and fireplace. Into the kitchen and ,again, there was everything you would expect: stove, cupboard est.

Kuro headed back into the living-room/study gulping down some piping hot coffee, it burned his mouth and throat but he had no time to take his time. After he downed his drink (he would regret making it seeing as he had to down it but even he admitted there was no way he would be able to face the world without caffeine) he headed into the bathroom, grabbed his toothbrush and toothpaste and hoped into the shower.

When he was done (that is after he had soaked long enough to wake up properly) he was back in his bedroom getting changed, a white vest with the guilds insignia on the front, a black with white trim jacket with the left sleeve missing (lost it in a fight, he didn't want to fix it as this arm is were his guild tattoo is), his trousers were (you guessed it) black but 3 quarters of the left leg was white.

Now he was ready he wondered what the day would bring.

...

Black Raven was a happy guild. It was what they called an "elitist guild" as in you have to pass a rigorous test to be aloud to join. This had it's pros: every mage in Black Raven was a S-class and that meant the guild was a force to be reckoned with (obviously). It's cons on the other hand were there are only nine members of Black Raven and they never get many applicants seeing as most wizards thought they weren't good enough to get in (and they are probably right) or that the guild is full of snobs and douches. However it is a little known fact that Black Raven's entry test includes the "make sure your not a snob or douche" test were you have to hang around the guild members until they agree you are or aren't a snob or douche (unfortunately most applicants fail this test, I wonder why). So the guild is full of genuinely quite nice people, well sort of.

There was Nok, the newest member of the guild, he joined last year, he is only 16 and is already in the top 200 wizards in Fiore in the magazine: the daily sorcerer. Its mostly because of his magic type: the combo of teleportation and ex-quip, he uses duel pistols (think of Alec) and dresses like a Mexican off a spaghetti western which the guild members find hilarious, he does not.

There is Joey "the Hammer" (only Joey calls himself "the Hammer" the guild normally calls him by his middle name "Keith" when they want to piss him off) the resident body-builder/meat-head, he never wears a shirt (most people think it's because he is vain but the people who know him know that, because he constantly works out, the mix of constant sweat and his magic means Joey would go through 13 shirts a day, so he just gave up) his power is "Stone-skin" (he can turn his body into rock, think of the thing off fantastic 4... only not orange and can extend his arms, think of Gajeel's iron arm's)

Then there was Victoria (Strongest woman (Arguably lol) in Black Raven) beautiful, sexy, elegant, down-right dirty and down-right scary when angry. Loyal to the guild and her friends (can be said about everyone in Black Raven btw) she has a tendency to be horrifically rude/aggressive/bitchy/cold to anyone outside the guild who so much as looks her in the eye. Also prone to flirting extensively with her friends (including the girls of the guild) just for fun (this drives Joey crazy, he is convinced that she's "playing hard to get") her power: Charm and command (think of caprico's lost magic only without the being-able-to-summon-people part)

Gonzo: friend, comrade, drinking partner, clown, crazy madman with psychopathic tenancies, truly the definition of "multiple personality disorder." Obviously his personality changes with his mood but so does his powers: when Gonzo is calm, collected and cool he uses ice magic (Gray), when he is angry he uses fire magic (Macao only with "regular" fire, lots of it), when he goes psycho (the guild members call this state "Hannibal") he uses telekinesis to rip his opponents apart and when he goes loony/happy crazy (the guild members call this state "Sheogorath") he uses all of the above and illusionary magic but is more like to run off to find some cat nip or create a powerful magical sock than fight his opponent.

Lilly: sweet, pure, innocent Lilly, can do no wrong in the eyes of the guild (perhaps she is ignored a bit but that's because she isn't as loud as everyone else). Friends with everyone. She could be described as the glue that holds the guild together and is often the only voice of reason, however she has a destructive streak that she is ashamed of (everyone else is proud of it, makes her fit in) her power: (aside from being so cute no-one would want to hurt her) fire magic and the ability to absorb and reflect most magic (which makes it fucking hard to beat her with "regular" magic)

Zantu (also known as the "inconsiderate intruder" from earlier) carefree, funny, usually speaks before thinking, do almost anything for a laugh and has a very dirty mind. Zantu is a wind mage and his favourite activity is using his ability to fly to watch pretty girls in "compromising" situations (e.g. showering, changing, you get the idea (honestly I don't blame him I'd probably do it at least once)) this has led him to hold the title "Pervert" which he relishes.

Lexi Aka X is the personification of Rock n Roll, she only wears black, sleeps upside-down (or somewhere hard/uncomfortable e.g. a ditch, the floor) chain smokes, chain drinks and sometimes has mood swings that rival Gonzo (exaggerating of course), most of the guild agree that she racks up their collective coolness up a few notches. Her power: Vibration (from a short, sharp pulse into your eyes to blind you all the way to it feeling like someone is try to use a jack-hammer to open your scull and everywhere in between) she also always carrys a knife (if I went to the kinds of parties she goes to I bloody would as-well)

And finally the brothers Shiro and Kuro (who you've met already). Shiro is the older brother and is the master of Black Raven, He and Kuro were also the founding members. Unlike their names suggest (Shiro means White and Kuro means Black in Japanese) they aren't very different in looks or personality, they are easily identified as brothers. The major difference between them is Shiro is responsible and reliable (being the eldest brother does that to you) and Kuro is not. Also their magic's are worlds apart. Shiro uses dragon take-over (a green, forest dragon incase you wondered) were he becomes a dragon and can use the dragons moves (think dragon slayer magic only it comes from a green dragon) and Kuro uses an almost unique power he and his uncle developed called Rage.

It's still being pioneered so there are no special attacks (e.g. fire dragon punch, iron dragon's sword ext.) but as the name implies it converts the emotion anger into magic power, meaning it's users can often win a "war of attrition" with their foes seeing as anger being an emotion is more or less unlimited. Rage in it's magical form looks like blood red fire that paralyses the area its burning (so if Kuro sets your left arm on "fire" you can't move your left arm). Of course it isn't really fire so it can burn any-were (in water, low oxygen environments, against a headwind (it is still affected by wind it just wont be put out by it)). A major disadvantage to Rage is its impossible to control when you reach "critical mass" (when you get so angry you stop thinking) and the results are terrifying. Also it works almost on instinct so when you get angry you often use it without realising.

…...

Kuro went downstairs and entered the hall. Zantu, Victoria, Lilly and Nok were sitting and talking on one of the tables. Joey was defiantly in the gym, Lexi was probably still asleep (it was only 10 am), it sounded like Sheogorath was out (funny, loony, crazy remember) and judging by the giggles and what defiantly sounded like a cat being dressed up against its will (the guild knows the sound well) eminating from behind the bar it was a safe bet that's were Gonzo was.

Kuro could vaguely remember Shiro had to go to the council to sort out some "trouble", most likely that Lilly went overboard with the flame last mission, or Gonzo went on a rampage because someone said he couldn't have a house made of pigs trotters, or maybe some shop keeper looked at Victoria's breasts (I don't blame him) and she made him destroy his own shop, or Zantu got caught in the women's public toilet in town (again), or perhaps Joey saw a man with bigger muscles than him and with a girl he wanted and decided to smash him into a pier. Maybe Lexi took Nok to one of her parties again and he took one look at the debauchery and lost all higher brain function. But Kuro had to admit that he had a nagging feeling he probably did something wrong so it was probably him.

So caught up in the thought he almost forgot about what he was about to say and do. Thankfully he remembered as he came up behind Zantu, plate and mug in hands. Before Zantu even had a chance to register the attack Kuro had smashed the plate on top of his head and whacked him in the ear with the mug.

"Please stop going in my room when I'm asleep" Kuro said exacerbated at the number of times he had said those exact words " Oh and clean your own cutlery"

"Why don't you want us going in your room Kuro?" Victoria said the grin on her face telling the world she is pleased at the 'entertainment', "do you think we will do..." her expression turned into sexy Vicky "things, to you while you sleep?"

"Yes" came the immediate blunt reply

"owwwwwy" Zantu moaned as he regained some semblance of consciousness "what happened?"

"you were in Kuro's room while he was asleep and it appears you left dirty cutlery there too so he smashed them over your head" Nok answered chuckling

"don't blame me, you didn't hear me walk up on you" Kuro said in mock imitation of Zantu the 'Intruder'

"Kuro, be nice" Lilly pleaded as she got over the shock of the sudden 'unprovoked' assault

"Fine! Zantu if you come in my room again I'm cutting off your right hand" Kuro threatened

"Not Mr pleasure!" Zantu squealed

everyone bar Zantu and Lilly cracked up

"Anyway ain't we better get to that job now?" Nok asked while wiping away a tear

"Yeah what job is it?" Kuro asked, his 'serious' tone had returned

"the usual search and destroy, this time its a Dark guild named the Black Eagles" Victoria informed

"Bastards ripped off our name!" Zantu shouted, he wont let anyone get away with such plagiarism of 'his' guild.

"I was gonna say something gay along the lines of "lets show them who the kings of the sky are" or "who the top bird is" or something but I remembered that Blue Pegasus is higher than us on the guild rankings" Kuro mused

"Bah!" a wave of collective disgust fell on all Black Ravens who heard the words "blue Pegasus" and "higher than us" in the same sentence, even Gonzo stopped dressing the cat (seemed he is dressing it up as a clown, make-up, big shoes the full deal) to join in.

"don't say that name around me!" Zantu whined

"we are better than them, the only reason they are higher on the listings is because there are a hell of a lot more of them" Victoria hypothesised

"Ah stop whining everyone" Kuro banged the table to reinforce his point "do we really care about the listings?"

"No" came the uniform reply

"then why are we getting bothered about being lower than some bigger guild?"

there were some mumbles, mostly from Gonzo about were his soon to be clown cat had gone.

"then lets go kick some wannabe wizard arse!" Kuro shouted trying to rally them

"alright" "I guess so" and "I was gonna anyway" were the common replies, not as good as a reaction as he would hoped but at least they had stopped they're rant and were getting ready for the job.


	2. Chapter 2 Black Eagle

Dark: The Saga of Ravens

Chapter 2: the Black Eagle

**Author notes**

**This chapter is pretty short, sorry 'bout that. **

"speaking"

'thinking'

(me (author) speaking)

"I still can't accept that Blue Pegasus is a higher rank than us." Zantu continued to whine as the group trekked through the forest to their plagiarist prey. "I mean everyone will think they can take us in a fight." Zantu's constant whining was a generally accepted character flaw of his, but enough was enough

"Zantu you've been whining to yourself since we left the guild and your starting to grate (understatement of the day) so shut up" Kuro vented and received grateful glances from everyone who's thoughts he expressed (so everyone apart from Zantu)

"but-" Zantu started

"I said shut up!" Kuro finished

"Okay boys calm down" Lilly soothed while Victoria grinned at the entertainment and Nok tried to ignore the others (it's his job to look out for the prey, since he is the newest)

Calm descended on the group, much to Victoria's annoyance, 'something better happen, walking is sooooo boring' Nok's disappearance and a loud Boom in the distance were confirmation of her wish being fulfilled.

"Right we're here, Lilly go back Nok up, me and Victoria will wait for the big guns to come out." Kuro instructed as they crested the hill overlooking the Dark guild hall, it was a manor house on the edge of the forest with black eagle banners hanging from the roof. As Lilly rushed off down the hill to join Nok in (the fun) attacking the unlucky Dark mages to be outside. Nok was currently teleporting only when a foe got to close and was shooting bursts at the larger groups of them.

Lilly immediately got stuck in, tossing exploding balls of fire pretty much everywhere (with a maniacal look on her face) like usual.

"Zantu-" Kuro started

"Yeah, Yeah do round the back and start trouble-" Zantu answered

"And lead the hard ones back here" Kuro finished

"I know, god we've done this so many times." Zantu whined as he flew off and over the manor to start his own private battle.

"Right you done playing general?" Victoria teased Kuro, punching his arm lightly

"let's get set up" she said as she opened the hamper she was carrying

"what sandwich do you want?"

"erm" Kuro pondered as he unfurled the Black Raven Flag and drove it into the ground

"got a ham-" he started

"and cheese one?" Victoria finished for him while handing him the sandwich she knew he would as for.

"Thank you" Kuro smiled he took it and they both sat down to enjoy their picnic watching the carnage below.

"You know Lilly, this plan is great and all but why do those too always eat our lunch while we are doing the hard work?" Nok asked after he kicked a foe in the face as punishment for coming too close.

"they used to say "because you didn't work fast enough" but I think they eat it really fast just to spite us" Lilly mused as she was hit by a fireball from a Dark fire-mage, she absorbed the magic and shot it back to it's previous owner, taking out a section of wall in the process.

More groups of Dark wizards rushed out of the guild "There's one!" Kuro shouted as he jumped up, pointing at a mage in one group with armour on.

"He ain't your's, you know the rules" Victoria reminded him, so Kuro sat to play the game of Rock, Paper, Scissors. Kuro won and sprinted down the hill leaving a disappointed Victoria to finish the sandwiches.

A shout and double blast of blood red "fire" signalled Kuro's presence to the Dark guilders who then started to chant "Urist, Urist, Urist."

"Urist, what kind of name is Urist!" Nok joked, and Lilly hide her mouth as she giggled.

The armoured mage Kuro dibs'd walked through the path left for him by his comrades, 'egged on by his buddy's he looks confident' Kuro laughed at what he imagined this guy's face will look like a few seconds from now 'lets see what this Urist bloke has got'

"I am Urist the undefeated, an you-" the guy named Urist started

"Blah, Blah, Blah" Kuro cut him off before he got bored, and got into his battle stance

"so are you not going to tell me your-" Urist (the idiot) started again but this time he was stopped as he had to dodge a ball what he concluded to be 'funny looking fire'

"fire won't work against me now" he said with his voice full of confidence and he ex-quiped into a suit of red armour what looked like dragon wings on the helm

Kuro smiled and built up and shot and large ball of 'funny looking fire' at the guy called Urist's face.

Such was the guy's confidence in the 'fire-proof qualities' of his armour he didn't move or even defend against it, the Rage ball hit him in the head and smashed his helm into pieces and flung him 20 feet back into his comrades.

"w-what the fuck!" Urist shouted disbelievingly, his earlier confidence long gone as the blood oozing from the many cuts on his face dripped down it onto his fire-proof armour of more or less the same colour

"this-" Kuro started as he created a ball of Rage in his right hand "-ain't fire"

Urist the undefeated's eyes widened as the ball was added to the the one in Kuro's left hand and a beam of 'Not-fire' fieryness shot straight at him.

Ka-Boom!

"Well he didn't last long" Kuro stated as he looked round at the very, very worried faces of the Dark guild members

"Who's next?"

All the faces snapped to him and you could almost smell the fear but you could defiantly see the sweat drops form on all on them. As if they all heard the same cue they all legged it at the same time, but were stopped by an elderly man with a can stepping out of the smoke Kuro's explosion caused.

"Master!" a few shouted

Kuro's eyes lit up as he heard that word

"KURO!" Victoria shouted from the top of the hill, knowing his thoughts as though she was psychic.

'bugger, better make this fast' Kuro thought as he geared up for battle

"Kuro you Prick!" Victoria almost screamed as she ran down the hill "My Kill!"

The old guy dropped his cane and summoned some black whirling magic in both his hands, Kuro summoned his own anger in mirror of the old man.

The old man made the first move and launched the ball of magic in his right hand at Kuro who let it hit him.

"Kuro you bastard." Victoria shouted as she knew what he was doing and it was basically over.

The old guy the Dark guilders called Master looked a bit puzzled at why the guy let him hit him, but shrugged and threw as many balls of that explosive magic at Kuro as he could, when he thought he had done enough he smiled and waited for the smoke to clear to see his handy work.

When the smoke did clear all he saw was Kuro with that blood red fire spewing out of his eyes and mouth while holding a huge ball of Rage above his head with both hands.

"Now you've gone and made me mad" Kuro stated before he launched that ball of his at the old guy they call Master. The explosion was a little bigger than Kuro was aiming for, he only wanted to take out the old guy and a large portion of the Dark Guilders near him, Kuro... miscalculated.

After she finished picking the dust and debris out of her hair Victoria stormed towards the prone, laughing form of Kuro. She could hear Zantu and Nok laughing in the distance, Lilly was probably disappointed that there was nothing left to destroy seeing as Kuro took out the majority of the Dark Guild wizards (the rest legged it) and the manor with his explosion

When Victoria loomed over Kuro's prone self with what can only be described as a I-going-to-enjoy-this grin. Needless to say Kuro stopped laughing.

Victoria held out a palm "VICKY I'M SORRY" was all Kuro could come up with before Victoria said "Command"

And Kuro immediately started making incoherent whimpering apologies and promises he couldn't keep as he started to beat the fuck out of himself while Victoria laughed manically and muttered such things as "I'll show you what happens to people who steal my kills."

The 'Self-harming' and evil laughter only ended when Lilly finally convinced Victoria to stop with the words "If he knocks himself out you have to carry him."

To which Victoria stopped the 'Self-harming' with the word "Release" and Kuro's first action of being free was to go straight to Lilly and while kissing her shoes muttered thanks along the lines of "saving me from the evil, scary lady"

After Kuro regained his composure (After half a hour cuddling Lilly for comfort) the group left the large hole in the ground were a dark guild used to be and headed back to Black Raven to get their payment.


	3. Chapter 3 Let them eat cake

Chapter 3: Let them eat cake

**Authors notes:**

No action in this chapter, it's literally just to get started on the main plot (which I'm proud to say I have worked out). This plot arc is going to be very long and there won't be any Fairy Tail for a while (sorry about that it's just the way the plot fitted together). I am, after this chapter, going to try and make longer chapters, because mine look insignificant compared to other stories chapters.

"talking"

'thinking'

(me (author) speaking)

Yesterday was pretty regular. Kuro had hit Zantu with cutlery he left in his room, Gonzo dressed a cat up as a clown, they destroyed a Dark Guild, Victoria forced Kuro to beat himself to a pulp.

Regular.

Shiro couldn't complain, the only destruction that occurred yesterday was a Dark Guild so the council couldn't exactly complain about that. But Shiro still wasn't a happy bunny.

No.

The council still wasn't happy with him for some reason or the next, they always were. Shiro couldn't help but think that the council saw him and the guild as 'In the way' or 'giving a bad name to wizards' or some other bullshit. The old council he could work with, they didn't get on to him and the guild paid most of the damages. Now it seemed that was not enough. The council wanted rid of him and "His" guild and Shiro knew it, even though they didn't say it.

'It's only a matter of time' thought Shiro 'before they move against us. We can fight them but we cannot win.' Shiro admitted to himself 'But I can't let them take all of us. I owe it to those who call me 'Master', those I call my family.' Shiro sat musing in his room, looking out the window at the town, sipping brandy as he strategized.

…...

"And I bring forward the issue of the guild: Black Raven" a short old man said to the room full of councillors, like himself.

"They are a menace to the magical world!"

"I agree they're wanton destruction is tiresome"

"'Wanton Destruction' Really? Back in my day we were 3 times worse and nobody batted an eyelid" one of the older councillors disclosed.

"that was back in the days of the old council, this council, the new council does not tolerate trouble-makers."

…...

Kuro kicked Zantu 'lightly'. Zantu was asleep on the couch, as he couldn't be bothered to walk down the hall to his room last night. It was morning and Kuro had made some coffee. He sat down after Zantu had woke up, took the coffee and sat up.

"how much did we make for that job yesterday?" Zantu asked

"it's not like you to ask about money" Kuro stated

"I'm short at the moment and I got stuff I need to buy" Zantu explained

"the job was for five hundred thousand jewel, so between five of us you get a hundred thousand jewel"

"oh" Zantu scratched his chin disappointedly

"need more I'm guessing" Kuro summarized

"Yeah, looks like I will be working again today" Zantu said, resigning himself to the fact he will have to 'do' something today

"You can't, its Sunday" Kuro reminded Zantu, The banks were closed on Sunday so you couldn't get paid for a job.

"shit I forgot" Zantu said with a distressed look on his face

"don't worry mate I will loan you the money you need" Kuro offered, seeing his friends predicament

"oh thank you so much Kuro" Zantu accepted, the distressed look evaporated

"so, you behind on your rent again?" Kuro asked

"is it that obvious?" Zantu asked, Kuro's laughter was the only answer he got.

"Hey peeps" Lexi greeted them as she walked into Kuro's apartment

"Lexi it's a bit early in the morning for you too be up" Kuro said astonished to see the black haired rocker up so early (it's like 11am).

"I've only just got in and I smelt coffee" Lexi admitted the reason she was here.

"sure help yourself" Kuro offered

"so what have you to randy dogs been doing? nothing too dirty I hope" Lexi teased the two men sitting next to each other, Kuro with only his boxers on.

"Lexi, how long have you known us, you know we don't 'swing' that way" Kuro stated while Zantu was choking on his coffee.

"Awww don't be like that, now look you've hurt Zantu's feelings." Lexi said from the kitchen "you two should just admit your feeling to one another, the thing you got going can't be healthy."

"your one to talk with your unrequited love for Nok" Kuro struck back

"I would knock boots with him if that's what you mean" Lexi deflected, her grin signalled her liking of the conversation.

Kuro laughed "you should tell him that, and make sure I'm there when you tell him, the look on his face will be worth seeing."

"sure thing bro, cheers for the coffee." Lexi appreciated as she left the lads to their own devices

"so, how much do you need?" Kuro asked

"how much of what" Zantu asked back, confused

"how much money do you want me to loan you, fool" Kuro answered

"O right, I'm sorry I thought you was coming on to me or something." Zantu stated

"you're fucked up if you think someone asking "how much do you need?" means they're coming on to you"

"Sorry, it's just that Lexi has made me paranoid now." Zantu admitted

"what that I'm gonna sex-duce (seduce spelt with sex) you?" Kuro teased

"Yeah actually" Zantu admitted

"what the fuck man, to think that you would let Lexi, the professional piss taker, make you paranoid about your friend that you've known for years is trying to seduce you." Kuro ranted, disbelieving his friend for his gullibility

"I need about seventy thousand" Zantu said

"what?" Kuro asked forgetting the previous topic

"You asked me how much I wanted to loan from you" Zantu reminded him

"O right okay" Kuro said as he went to find money.

"Here" he said handing Zantu a wad of cash

"thanks buddy I will pay you back" Zantu thanked and he got up to walk out "I need to go pay your brother before he dragon breaths me like last time I was late" and he was gone

'I had better get changed' thought Kuro now alone in his apartment. Before he could act on his thought there was a knock on the door.

"Its open Lilly!" Kuro shouted so Lilly could hear

"How did you know it's me?" Lilly asked as she opened the door

"Because your the only person who knocks" Kuro answered. Sweet Lilly truly was the only one with any manners in Black Raven.

"Oh, but people always knock my door." Lilly re-buffed

"that's because you knock on ours and we return the favour" Kuro clarified "so what's up Lilly?"

"I came round to ask you about Shiro" Lilly admitted

"M-my brother? Why? What's wrong?" Kuro asked, slightly taken aback by the question, no-one had ever asked him about his brother when they could talk to Shiro instead.

"well-" Lilly started as she sat next to Kuro, trying not to look at his practically naked body "-he has been stressed lately"

"Stressed? He's always stressed." Kuro stated

"yes but it's now worse than ever, and I often see him staring off with a grim look on his face, I'm just worried about him and was wondering if you knew anything" Lilly clarified

"No, he hasn't said anything to me" Kuro pondered 'what's going on?'

"hmmm, well if he hasn't said anything to you then it must be a secret, and Shiro doesn't keep secrets if it's not important they stay secret." Lilly hypothesised.

"makes sense" Kuro agreed

"well sorry for wasting your time Kuro" Lilly said as she made for the door.

"no problem Lilly any time" Kuro answered

'right, now I really need to get changed' Kuro thought after Lilly had departed and he got changed into his regular attire. He took a step out of his apartment only too see Gonzo "sneak" past down the hall, doing his rounds as per usual on a Sunday.

'what should I do today?' Kuro asked himself, 'I could piss Zantu off, maybe go shopping: I do need some new stuff; na I hate shopping I want to do something fun to-' his thought was cut off as he walked past his brothers room. Remembering about what Lilly had told him, Kuro was overwhelmed with curiosity 'dam, I don't care if it's better if I don't know, I want to know what going on'.

He paused at Shiro's door.

He knocked. "come in Lilly" came Shiro's reply, sweet Lilly truly was the only Raven with manners.

"it's not Lilly" Kuro smirked as he walked in

"Oh" Shiro said, surprised as he turned to face his brother "alright Kuro, you decided to take Lilly's example?" Shiro asked mockingly

"Na, this is a one time occurrence" Kuro laughed

"so what's up?"

"Lilly said your stressed"

"Stressed? Your worried because I'm stressed? I'm always stressed"

"Lilly said your worse than you have been, and anyway, how are you surprised that I'm worried about you! I'm your brother, I'm always worried about you" Kuro steamed

"so your always worried about me, yet you still go out and destroy shit, getting me into shit with the council and making me stressed?" Shiro slammed

Kuro let the words sink in "w-w-well when you say it like that. I-" Kuro started "Wait! Stop defecting!" Kuro brought the conversation back to the original topic.

Shiro laughed "fair enough" Shiro conceded "the truth is that the council has got worse."

"worse? How?" Kuro asked

"Worse as in: getting on my back for bullshit reasons and nothing seems to sedate them, I offer to not just pay the damages but to pay compensation as well. "That's good enough" they say" Shiro expressed the reason behind the increased stressed to his brother. Although he didn't admit his fears.

"whoa, didn't we used to have a sort of accord with the council?" Kuro asked

"Yeah the old one, this one has changed the rules" Shiro answered.

Silence.

Kuro thought about what was said.

"So what are we gonna do?" Kuro asked.

"Leave it to your brother" Shiro smiled grimly as he touched his nose.

"that doesn't fill me with confidence" Kuro admitted

"get over it" Shiro ordered "just make sure the guild doesn't get in the way and do what I say when I say it and everything will be okay"

Kuro winced, he knew Shiro was planning something and he wouldn't like it, it would also probably get messy.

"Hay" Shiro shaked his brother "I need you to promise me"

"Crap" Kuro said "Okay I promise"

"you don't know what to promise yet" Shiro reminded and he squeezed the bridge of his nose in embarrassment "idiot"

"Promise you will do what I say when I say it." Shiro asked "swear on the internal souls of our family you will do as I say"

Kuro gaped at the last part. Shiro never, ever used his parents names in vain let alone his entire family. This must be really, really serious.

"Okay I swear, on the souls of our relatives, I will obey you when the time comes. For the first time ever." Kuro swore.

"good." Shiro admitted "don't tell the Ravens what you promised. Try to reassure them if you want to have something to say"

"come on, I'm not lying to them." Kuro said

"well then tell them "trust Shiro has it in hand" if they ask" Shiro ordered

"Okay" Kuro agreed reluctantly. That wasn't lying seeing as he didn't know anything other than that, about whatever Shiro was planning.

…...Later...

"trust Shiro has it in hand" Kuro repeated to a shocked Lilly

"what the hell is that supposed to mean?" Lilly asked, dumbfounded

"it means Shiro has a plan for whatever problem he has got and he doesn't want us to know about it.

"sounds like Shiro" Victoria observed.

"so. Let me get this straight." Zantu said rubbing his head with the strain "there's a problem that Shiro is involved in that we don't know about, he has a plan to deal with the problem that he doesn't want us to know about and we have to do what Shiro says "when the time comes"?" Zantu asked, using his fingers to illustrate the quote.

"Yep" Kuro answered.

"fair enough" Zantu said

"WHAT HOW CAN YOU BE SATISFIED WITH THAT!" Lilly shouted disbelieving how easily everyone could leave it like that

"don't you trust my brother, Lilly?" asked Kuro

"w-well of course I do, I didn't mean it like that" Lilly clarified, flustered at the accusation "I meant: don't you want to know what's going on?"

Kuro sat further back in his seat and put his hands on his head. "Of course I do, but I trust my brother, if he doesn't tell anyone there is a good reason."

"I think it's fishy" said Gonzo, and everyone looked at him, unused to him making sense " this cake tastes like mackerel."

Zantu took the cake and look at it carefully.

"That's because, Gonzo, you made this cake with mackerel"

"Okay Gonzo that's weird even for you!" Victoria squealed as Lilly squirmed and held her nose.


	4. Chapter 4 Boatmurdered

Chapter 4: Boatmurdered

Author's notes

Boatmurdered is a succession game for the game Dwarf Fortress (which I think I mentioned in a previous chapter). /Dwarf-Fortress-Boatmurdered/ in case you want to read it, I have adapted one of the most fucked up episodes in the places generally fucked up history. In case you was wondering the place was abandoned after a dwarf who called himself Emperor went berserk and started to strangle people to death in a rampage (While on fire) which caused a "Tantrum spiral" (bad events cause dwarfs to go berserk kill dwarfs, that causes dwarfs to go berserk and kill dwarfs and so on) of epic proportions which only ended when everyone was dead or suffocated from the fires burning.

This chapter is action heavy and is going to get bloody/disturbing. Defiantly a 18+ chapter.

"speaking"

'thinking'

(me (author) speaking)

"beer, the single most important thing in existence" Kuro stated wistfully, looking into that dark amber liquid that he considered more important to existence than oxygen. Most of the Black Ravens would agree with him, drinking being the second most common activity in the guild.

"You hit the nail on the head" Zantu agreed, also looking into the party nectar.

"no way, beer is icky. Wine and cocktails are much better" Lilly explained

"wrong, all of you are wrong." Lexi shook her head "3 words." she said raising three fingers at the group "Shorts and shots" (I concur)

"I retract my previous statement." Kuro conceded "liquor is more important to my continued alcoholism also known as my life."

"I still prefer beer" Zantu stood his ground

"But what would you drink if you run out of beer?" Lilly asked

"I'm a man so I would drink the most alcoholic liquid I can get my hands on" Zantu explained

Kuro laughed "it's all true, apart from the bit about you being a man"

"hay, I'm a man." Zantu defended

everybody apart from Zantu found this funny. The laughed continued until Gonzo walked up

"fun is over, time for work." It was Monday. Kuro, Lilly, Zantu, Lexi and Gonzo pair up every Monday, and this Monday was Gonzo's turn to pick the job. Thankfully he wasn't in Sheogorath mode today (funny, crazy, random in case you forgot).

"what's the job madman?" Lexi asked

Gonzo placed the job note on the table

"Army of darkness spotted near the town of Boatmurdered. 8 Million Jewels to destroy the Army before it destroys the town, 4 million after." Lexi read to the group "What kind of fucking name is Boatmurdered?"

"I heard the empire that founded the place nicknamed it the "Deepest hole of hell" or something like that because of the amount of death there." Kuro explained "Apparently they had trouble with elephants-"

"Fucking elephants!" Lexi exclaimed

"-that's what I heard. Anyway, yeah elephants. They were peaceful when they founded the place but after a few years of hunting them for food the elephants were hostile, they killed loads of migrants to the place, and the people started putting traps out to kill them. Apparently the elephants even went as far as to attack the town when someone forgot to shut the drawbridge."

"Bullshit" Zantu bluntly stated his disbelief

"look am I telling the story or is everyone going to keep interrupting me?" Kuro said annoyed

"sorry, please continue"

"anyway the elephants killed anyone who got near them. They had to evacuate the section the elephants were and let the elephants have it. After a few months goblins attacked and just join the elephants who were camped out by the front door. The guy in charge had the great idea of using magma to solve this problem-"

"MAGMA! What the fu-" Zantu started but stopped when he saw Kuro's murderous glare.

"Yes magma, they were near a volcano or something. So they channelled a magma flow with some flood gates at the end so they could release it, they called it the "final solution to elephants". The scene that proceeded apparently fucked everyone up so much that all of the stuff they made had images like burning elephants, elephants in the foetal (fetal if your a yank) position, skeletal elephants trampling people, ext. I heard other stuff about the place that's even worse than this."

stunned silence.

"so are we going?" Gonzo asked as he walked out the door, leaving everyone else to scramble after him.

…...later...

the group had to take the train because Boatmurdered was on the practically on the other side of the continent.

"so Gonzo" Kuro started

"Yes?" Gonzo asked

"why did you choose this job, it's fucking forever away." Kuro asked, curious to the reason why he had been on a train for the last 8 hours

"I know people there" Gonzo said dead serious (for once)

"Family?" asked Kuro, now curious about Gonzo's past. Gonzo never talked about his past so everyone thought he probably couldn't remember it.

No answer. Gonzo just stared out the window.

Most of the Ravens had bad pasts and a lot of them didn't want to talk about them so everyone excepted Gonzo's unspoken wish. Instead everyone joined Gonzo in looking out the window. The scenery was what you would expect in eastern Fiore, green rolling hills with the white tips and grey body's of mountains in the distance. Gonzo seemed to be staring at a single point on the horizon. Everyone stared there he was staring. A the green became black at the point were they were staring and black black ground spread as Boatmurdered came into view.

"Fucking elephants" Gonzo said, and everyone saw the elephants in the distance.

"what's up with the ground, is it because of the dark army?" asked Lilly

"It's because of the magma powered "Final solution" isn't it Gonzo?" Kuro smirked

Gonzo smiled and nodded "fucking elephants" was all he said.

The train came to a halt and the group had to walk to the blackened stain on the earth known as Boatmurdered.

"so were is this dark army?" Zantu asked

"We will probably have to ask someone, that's not a problem is it Gonzo?" asked Kuro

Gonzo remained silent.

"why is this placed called Boatmurdered I wonder" mused Zantu

"who the fuck cares, it suits the name now" answered Lexi as they crunched through crispy, burnt meadows

"who would do this to their own land?" asked Lilly as they came across a black tree, it's leaves long gone.

"madmen" answered Kuro

all Gonzo could say was "Fucking elephants" as one of the creatures stomped it way to them.

"it looks normal to me" Lexi said, at this distance it looked regular, green skin, big ears, trunk.

"KILL IT!" Gonzo screamed as he charged a fire spell.

"NO" Shouted Lilly as she tackled Gonzo "I won't let you kill a defenceless creature" she clarified as she positioned her thighs so Gonzo couldn't move his arms

"whoa lilly." Zantu said, shocked at the out burst

"YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND" screamed Gonzo before his started to cry and whimper in distress

"er Lilly" Kuro said "I think Gonzo's is right"

"What? Oh" said lilly as she lifted her head to see the elephant close, it had blood red eyes and seemed to be chewing on poor individuals severed arm.

"Shit." Lexi said wide eyed at the monstrous elephant who looked at the group like a lion would a gazelle calf. Easy food.

"Run!" Zantu shouted as he legged it only to find several more elephants behind them

"this- this is bad" Lilly admitted, still straddling a whimpering Gonzo.

"Fuck it." Kuro charged the elephant and punched it in the head with a fist of Rage.

The elephant responded to the slight knock by rapping its trunk around Kuro, lifting him into the air and slamming him into the ground.

"Attack!" Zantu shouted. Zantu flew into the air (were he would be safe, the coward) a started to use a wall of wind to keep the elephants behind them from getting close to his friends.

"Finally, JACKHAMMER" Lexi said, signalling her attack, she fired powerful pulses of compressed air at the elephant who slammed Kuro. Lilly got over her surprise and got off Gonzo (how stayed were he was, still whimpering)

"fireball!" she shouted, charged a large fireball and fired it at the mammal.

The elephant reeled from Lexi's jack hammer attack, then was hit by the fireball from Lilly which sent it flying a good two feet. It smouldered and let off a stink that reminded Gonzo of something

"that's the smell" Gonzo said as he snapped out of his grief "the smell of Boatmurdered"

What then happened was he went what people called "Hannibal mode" (aka Psychopath mode) and began ripping limbs off the remaining elephants and laughed into their screams of pain. It was a pretty horrifying site (Lilly was physically sick). The group had to wait until "Hannibal" was satisfied and hope he didn't deicide he wanted live prey or this was going to get messy (Understatement of the day). Thankfully, after the elephants stopped looking like... anything (think pools of blood and chunks of nondescript material). when his eyes stopped glowing red and he wasn't surrounded by a black aura it was assumed he was Gonzo again

"You lived here didn't you Gonzo" asked Kuro

"I was born here" said Gonzo happily (because of the animal abuse)"my da helped dig the final solution, that was before him and ma were tramped and eaten by these" he said pointing at the cannibal elephants

everyone gaped. 'So that's why Gonzo's crazy' everyone thought.

Gonzo started to laugh manically. A blood-curdling laugh that only the most evil in the universe can make before they did something incredibly evil, like burn down a orphanage with the orphans still inside (yes, that bad).

"I was there when they first used it" Gonzo Laughed, by this point his friends were shitting themselves (wouldn't you be?)" we went as far as to flood the outside of the fort with water to make the first time for these cunts-" points at mutilated elephant "-even more painful. Do you know what happens when 200 gallons of lava is poured into a miniature lake?" he asked to the fear-filled comrades of his "you get steam, lots of it" he laughed again as he remembered watching hundreds of killer elephants boil and poach. "fucking elephants"

"w w well-" Lexi started "that's... interesting."

"it drove a lot of people insane, can you believe that?" Gonzo laughed

"right, so this dark army" Zantu asked, his mind still processing the images of elephants " is it elephants"

"no, we use magma for that problem" Gonzo said smiling

"Gonzo... your seriously creeping me out" Lilly admitted. Gonzo didn't listen.

"I chose this job because I want to know what enemy can survive being drowned in water, then boiled and then burned by magma" Gonzo explained

"A fucking serious one, that's who" Lexi said excitedly "fucking A, Gonzo. I'm starting to like this job"

"Really I'm not" said Lilly

"think about it: this army is obviously evil and you will be saving the good people of Boatmurdered" Lexi tried to persuade

"they made a magma spewing weapon just to kill elephants" Lilly said

"cannibal, baby trampling elephants" Kuro came back

"fair, but there was a lot of collateral damage" Lilly said as she spread her arms to encompass the almost apocalyptic landscape.

"your one to talk, Collateral damage is pretty much your middle name" Lexi struck back

"w-well t-thats true" Lilly stuttered "Okay fine but let it be known I'm against the killing of elephants"

"excellent" Kuro stated "Zantu?" he looked at Zantu.

"well why do you want to do it?" asked Zantu

"a mix of want, of money, of a challenge and wanting to help my friend." Kuro stated

"errr I'm with you" Zantu said.

"So let's do it" Lexi said as she started to walk the opposite way to the train station.

After a lot of walking and avoiding elephants...

"Dark army?" said the first person they can across "what's that?"

"You've got to be kidding; this job note says Dark army"

"Oh" said the man "it must mean that undead horde sieging the town"

"HOW IS THAT DIFFERENT!" shouted Kuro

"the undead are not inherently evil as most people think, so calling a horde of them "Dark army" or "Evil army" is politicly incorrect" explained the man

face-palm.

"if the undead aren't inherently evil then why are they sieging the town?" asked Kuro, his head still meeting his palm.

"hmmm" said the man as he put a finger to his chin and looked into the distance as he pondered "I guess you've got me there" he smiled

"Right. So were do we go"

he pointed the way to go, and went on his way.

"undead? So necromancers?" asked Zantu

"Probably. The necromancer may be a undead lich, or they might be lost souls that don't know they are dead" explained Kuro

"liches are fucking dangerous" Lexi stated

"know that from experience?" asked Kuro

"yeah" Lexi said with a and-thats-all-I'm-going-to-say tone

"so let's hope there isn't a lich" said Zantu

"the undead are monstrosity, they are against nature. The dead should stay dead" stated Lilly

"you've changed your tune, a minute ago you was all like "I don't like this job" and was against the idea" reminded Kuro

"I don't enjoy the idea of fighting an army of undead" Lilly admitted

"I do" said Lexi

"so do I" said Kuro

**Afterword:**

I apologise for the c-word but the guy's parents were trampled to death by elephants, he isn't exactly going to mince his words. Also I did say in the previous chapter I was going to start making the chapters longer, it appears I lied. Sorry about that.


	5. Chapter 5 Many Manly Plans

Chapter 5 many manly plans

Author's notes

my attempt at a long chapter: not bad 1500 words long then normal but took two days to write instead of one. I should be getting Dragon Age 2 tomorrow or the next day, so I don't know when I will be updating this story next, maybe Saturday or Sunday. I still haven't had any reviews to this story, it doesn't fill me with confidence that it's any good but I will carry on regardless, if only because my friend really loves it and I like writing it.

"speaking"

'thinking'

(me (author) speaking)

Boatmurdered was built into the side of a mountain. Old style. Drawbridges leading to trap filled corridors, with grates built into the walls to out water or magma. It would be impressive, with the monolithic architecture and blackened landscape, sure it looked like an entrance to the lowest pit of hell but it would be impressive. If only the large army of undead sieging the place would go away this place could become the home of a devil or general evil-doing-asshole; the décor would suit their taste perfectly (Bones, corpses, platinum statues of madmen, rabid elephants in cages... you get the idea) .

"What a dive" said Lexi into the silence generated by the first view of Boatmurdered.

"How can people live like this?" Lilly stated more than asked. Everyone looked at the only one of them who had lived in this "Dive", Gonzo. He was currently muttering "fucking elephants" and smashing long-dead-elephant bones into dust.

"Good enough answer for ya?" asked Kuro. Lilly didn't have to answer, they all knew you had to be Stark Raving Mad to live here.

"so undead huh?, what are they like?" asked Zantu bringing attention to the job; the undead army sieging the "dive"

"regular undead are pretty weak, just animated bones holding whatever weapon at hand" Lilly started to explain "there are others but I don't know about them"

"really, you know quite a bit. More than anyone here." Kuro stated, curious as to how Lilly knew about undead

"you have liches, bone golems and horrors." Lexi proved Kuro's previous statement wrong. "liches are bastards that don't like dying, bone golems are big, tough fuckers made of bones and horrors are spirit, ghost things that float around like pansies until they take a liking to your face and try to take it"

Kuro whispered into the ear of Zantu "You sound like a Horror whatchyamathhing" and laughed

"anyway, that enough info for you little-dick?" asked Lexi, the insult directed at Zantu

"what is this; pick on Zantu-day?" Zantu frustratingly asked

"yes, and so is everyday" explained Kuro "so how the fuck do you two know about undead?" asked Kuro getting the conversation back on topic

Lilly started sweating and looking around furiously to find something to get her off the hook. Lexi looked as though she wanted to kill something, anything.

"Okay, Okay" Kuro said, squeezing the bridge of his nose with his index finger and thumb, with the frustration of it "don't worry, lets just sort this out"

"I wonder why the guy's at Boatmurdered haven't used the magma powered final solution to elephants yet?" mused Zantu

"Good point" agreed Kuro "any idea Gonzo?"

Gonzo shrugged and continued to smash elephant bones.

"well we will have to find out latter" dismissed Kuro "anyone got any good ideas as to how are we going to kill an entire army of skeletons?"

Pause.

Longer Pause.

"we could" started Zantu earning the hopeful looks and the undivided attention of the whole group (excluding the bone mashing elephant hater) "we could just run down there and fight them?"

face-palm.

"well at least we have a plan-f (aka Plan-fuck it)" said Kuro "any more?"

"we could try and sneak into the drive to try and fix the cool magma thingy" said Lexi

"that's good"

"we could try and defeat the guy that made them" Lilly offered

"if the guy is still alive, he would logically be either far away out of reach or in the very centre of that horde" hypothesised Kuro

"fair point" conceded Lilly

"let's use the Elephants!" shouted Zantu like he had just invented a cure for cancer. Gonzo's attention was earned at the mention of the grey skinned mammals

"yeah fuck it, that's so crazy it will work" Agree Lexi

"we could lure the undead to the elephants or the elephants to the undead" Kuro explained, also letting it known his support for this plan

"your all madder than fucking Gonzo" stated Lilly

"I resent that" said Gonzo "Why use elephants (this word was pronounced more as a growl then a word) when you can use a complex and ludicrously expensive system of platinum plated pumps to pump magma to burn everything?"

Lilly stared "I take that back, you guy's craziness can't hold a candle to Gonzo's"

"right this is the plan, Plan A (for ambitious)" Kuro instructed

…...later...

'why me, why me, why me' was all Zantu could think as he flew over the blackened landscape of Boatmurdered, looking for a large group of a certain madman's "Favourite" mammal

'there' he thought as he saw a particularly large group,maybe fifty or so of the monsters

'I hope this works, if it don't then Kuro I'm going to haunt your ass (literally lol)' he remembered the plan

"elephants are afraid of mice. So we get something that looks or sounds like a big fuck-off mouse then the elephants will run away from the mouse, into the undead army." he heard Kuro's voice in his head, repeating what he had said earlier.

The plan was for him to use wind to create a whirling image of a mouse and use wind to make it sound like one, he wasn't sure it was possible to do either but after Lexi and Kuro took turns calling him a pussy, he eventually agreed to try.

He landed twenty feet behind the herd.

'here goes nothing' he thought as he summoned wind and made it swirl and twist on itself until he got a mass of gusting wind that looked like a mouse and attempted to use a gust to make it squeak. He "blew" and all he got was more foghorn than squeak. The elephants didn't even look at him, such was the magnitude of his failure. Plan A failed.

"okay plan A was stupid, but these elephants like human flesh right?" explained Kuro

…...later...

'why me, why me, why me' deja vu suffering Zantu could only think as he came upon the same herd as before.

" let them get a whiff of your juicy, tender flesh and they will run after you then you can lead them back here" he remembered Kuro saying like a minute ago, lets just say Zantu will do anything for a person that just said something flattering to him. Plan B (for Bravery, apparently) was named in his honour.

'here goes nothing, again' thought Zantu before he poured a whole bottle of BBQ sauce over him and shouted

"Come and get it!" before running as hard as he can.

The elephants followed. Oh the elephants followed, fast. If they could be likened to humans then perhaps we could say they were running after a BBQ sauce covered Zantu to try to explain to him why they eat people, or the positive effects of recycling, why he should go green, but unfortunately we will never know, so lets keep it simple: they ran after him because he looked tasty and they were hungry.

'oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, I'm dead' thought Zantu as he ran as fast as his little, BBQ marinated legs could take.

'I'm dead, and I'm going to get eaten by elephants. I hope that counts as the "Heroic" death my father made me leave home to seek and not to return until I achieve it, I don't think dad liked me.' his train of thought was cut short by a hand grabbing his shirt and pulling him into one of the hiding places the Ravens had built for their crazy plan.

"good job" said a familiar voice in the darkness

"Lilly?" asked Zantu straining to hear past the stampeding elephants above them

"yep" clarified Lilly

"aw. Well. You know. I. Only did what anyone would have done" Zantu stuttered trying to sound cool and modest

"no I wouldn't have done what you did, and no-one else wanted to do it either" Lilly reinforced "your a real hero Zantu"

Zantu blushed at the complement

"w-w-w-w-well-" Zantu stuttered

"really? I don't think he is a hero, just really stupid" said a distinctly "Kuro" sounding voice

"wait. Is EVERYONE in here?" asked Zantu

"yeah, you didn't think you was alone with Lilly here and was planning to "do" things to her Zantu?" asked Kuro, knowing exactly were the conversation would go from here

"Zantu you pervert" Lilly huffed

"Zantu your sick man, thinking of taking advantage of Lilly like that." Lexi stormed

"fucking elephants" mumbled Gonzo

"wait wait I wasn't planning anything! I swear! I've never thought of Lilly that way!" Zantu said and immediately knew what would be grasped upon to prolong his suffering

"so you think Lilly is ugly, you cold hearted bastard" Kuro accused "don't worry Lilly your not ugly, Zantu just prefers big women that's all he isn't trying to be mean, honest" Kuro acted

"that's so nice of you Kuro sticking up for you perverted friend of yours that has no-taste in women, I wish more men were like you" Lilly said, not knowing the game going on. Kuro's smirk was so large Zantu was sure he could make it out in the darkness. Then Zantu noticed something that would save him for sure.

"there's no sound of elephants stampeding" he said as he opened the hatch to the wider world. The group emerged from the hole looking like they were emerging from a bunker after a nuclear war.

The groups gaping maws were directed at the undead horde. They thought that the elephants would at least kill a few, but it seems that not only did the elephants not kill any undead (nothing to eat on bones) but they are now mooching around the army like towering guard dogs, to the untrained eye it would appear the cannibal elephants and the apparently-not-really-evil undead horde had joined forces. Two words that sum up plan B would be EPIC FAIL.

"okay time for plan-f!" shouted Lexi, clearly annoyed their "Perfect" plan backfired (... badly) and wanted VENGANCE

"wait, wait, before when I said "let's just attack them", you all were against the idea and now when there are MORE enemies you want to attack?"

"yep" stated Kuro bluntly "more enemies means more fun" he smirked, as he geared up for the battle ahead.

"Zantu... lets just get on with it" said Lilly

"ATTACK!" shouted Lexi as she charged ahead, knife in hand. With a slightly 'unready' (likely excuse) Kuro a short distance behind her. Lilly and Zantu looked at each-other before they bounded off after them, not wanting to be left out.

Lexi jumped high into the air and landed in the middle of a lot of skeletons

"JACKHAMMER!" shouted Lexi as she released many pulses of compressed rippled out from her in all directions, shattering the ground below her and smashing the skeletons around her into bone dust. Before the dust settled other skeletons moved to take the "dead" ones place, brandishing their rusty weapons

"well this is going to be fun" said Lexi

Kuro punched through three skeletons with a fist of rage "I agree, why didn't we just attack when Zantu said?" he asked pondering his own question

"BECAUSE THERE'S FUCKING THOUSANDS OF THEM!" shouted Zantu so he could be heard

"hay don't get mad at me, this was YOUR plan after all" Kuro struck back, Zantu couldn't find words or the will to respond so they just got back to work (fun).

"Fire-mist!" shouted Lilly as a yellowish greenish cloud appeared around her and she lit it with a spark from the click of her fingers. The explosion vaporised the 10 or so skeletons closest to her and more or less took out many more beyond them.

"Lilly don't waste magic this early!" warned Kuro, who was practising what he preached and was only using Rage fists and kicks

"were is Gonzo?" asked Lexi after shattering a few skeletons in one go

"don't kno- Lilly behind you!" Zantu said from the air

Lilly managed to dodge the worse of the strike from the bone golem that (somehow) crept up on her

"Awwwy" she said clutching her shoulder

"ZANTU TAKE HER TO SAFTEY!" shouted Kuro 'don't start dropping like flies this early, please' he thought

"on it!" Zantu replied as he swooped down to pick up the injured Lilly, he swiped the golem with a gust so it couldn't hit her before he got her out of there.

"Lexi, how you holding up!" roared Kuro, Battle mode fully engaged: charging RAGE

"I'm fine worry about yourself" came the disinterested reply

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" he roared as he released the anger of seeing his friend being beaten up because he wasn't there to protect her (and a small amount of frustration at Lexi) in a wave of his signature blood-red not-really-fire fire.

"Yeah! That's the spirit Kuro, I LOVE it went you get serious in a fight!" came the only kind of encouragement to come from Lexi

"Spitfire!" she shouted as she released a ball of floating magic that pulsed the air around it causing shock-waves of compressed air to shatter all skeletons that got close.

"That bastard is mine" growled Kuro pointing at the hulking mass of bone that hit Lilly

"All yours bud" Lexi said "to far away for me to be bothered" she smiled

"HAAARRR" came Kuro as he pushed rage out of his feet to propel him skywards and "YOU FUCKING BONEY BASTARD!" came Kuro as he charged his elbow with rage, now hurtling earthwards, straight to his target

Lexi couldn't suppress her laugh at Kuro getting serious, this was fun.

CCCCRRRR-UNCH BOOOOM!

was the sound Kuro's landing made, hitting the golem with a glowing elbow in the "face". The hit demolished the golem into a large pile of bones and the shock-wave shattered the "Regular" skeletons in the area, leaving a large clear area with a smoking hole in the centre, to which Kuro emerged.

MARRRRP!

"what the fuck was that!" shouted Kuro at the sound, looking around himself trying to locate the cause of it

"THE FUCKING HORROR WANTS YOUR FACE!" shouted Lexi, all haste can be heard in her tone

"shit"Kuro said as he saw a Ghost looking... thing, with tentacles for a mouth coming for his face

"I LIKE MY FACE GODDAMIT!" Kuro Roared blasting the area with a blood-red aura of fire, burning the Horror up, it not even leaving ashes.

"DUCK!" Kuro heard

and so he did. Face met floor as he ducked for Zantu's blast heading for the skeleton archers who were preparing a volley behind him.

"Cheers mate!" he shouted

"No problem!" Zantu shouted back

It was getting heated. Lexi and Kuro were taking minor hits from Skeletons and archers. Zantu was tired from having to fly all the time.

"Fuck! Elephants!" shouted Zantu. The beasts were headed to Lexi, Kuro and Zantu were too far away from her to help in time.

'Shit we should have stuck together' thought Kuro, cursing himself, today, the plan, the skeletons, the elephants, everything!

"Zantu fly and help her! I've got things covered down here" ordered Kuro, Zantu looked like he would speak but decided against it and followed his command

"FUCK!" shouted Lexi as the first elephant rammed her. She was thrown into the air with the force of it. She twisted herself in the air until she was upright and landed on her feet. Knife in hand she charged the mammals, ignoring the skeletons in the way. 6 feet away from her target she leaped into the air, twisted around with her knife so she did a horizontal 360 that ended with the knife in her right hand ramming into the elephants head. shattering the right side of its head and puncturing the brain with the force of the rotational strike. The elephant moaned and toppled over, it's life over.

Lexi stood panting, right side coated red with the blood of the animal she just struck down, it dripped down her arm onto her blade then to the floor.

"Who's next?"

there was a roar that signalled an answer to her challenge. She looked round to see a hulking bone golem shuffling towards her. She held out a hand and blasted the skeletons around her into millions of pieces, leaving her, 3 elephants and a bone golem in a hollowed out area in the middle of a battle.

"now it got interesting" she panted

she grit her teeth and charged the bone golem, she blasted it with compressed air as she leaped into the air. The compressed air didn't work, the golem didn't stumble or finch, instead it brought its right arm back

'shit' thought Lexi as it hurtled its massive bone fist at her, still in mid flight. It struck and she flew like a rag-doll. Tossing and twisting. No doubt she was unconscious. When she hit the ground a good 70 feet away it was like a meteor hitting the ground. The shock-wave destroyed a hell of a lot of skeletons and a few elephants were taken out as well.

"YOU'RE FUCKING KIDING ME!" screamed Kuro as he watch the perpetual piss-taker hit the floor. 'she's dead' Kuro thought 'SHE'S FUCKING DEAD!'

"I'M GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU!" he shouted as he released a mother load of Rage, 100 metre circle of undead death. Eyes glowing

"after I'm done blowing your bones into fucking dust and vaporising the fucking dust, I'm going to track down every fucking one of your godforsaken descendants and CUTTING THEIR FUCKING EYES OUT!" 200 metre circle of undead death. Blood red flames from watering eyes.

"after that I'm cutting their legs off and their hands and when they ask "why are you doing this?" I will say "BECAUSE YOU FUCKING ANSESTORS FUCKING BONES KILLED MY FUCKING FRIEND!" 500 metre circle of undead death. Eyes look like furnaces, down-right crying now.

"YOUR GOING TO REGRET KILLING MY FRIEND!"

"Hay Kuro she ain't dead!" shouted Zantu, who had finally flown to Lexi's crater

"thank fuck for that!" Kuro admitted wiping away the tears shed for his not-dead friend.

"oh shit!" Kuro shouted as he stumbled

"no magic left! Zantu come get me you lazy shit!" he ordered before he fell, exhausted, to the ground

"fuck sake" Zantu admitted as he picked him up and flew him and Lexi back to the hill were Lilly was resting.

"we're fucked, Lilly can't fight in her condition, Lexi's unconscious, so is Kuro and I can't take that army on by myself" Zantu ranted. True the dark army was a hell of a lot smaller, Zantu estimated that they managed to take out more than half in the few hours they had been fighting, but there was no way he could do the rest himself.

"do you know were my cat is?" Asked Gonzo, walking up the hill to his comrades

"What the fuck! Were the fuck have you been!" shouted Zantu, he had forgot Gonzo was even with them

"dunno, were have YOU been?" countered Gonzo

"I've been fighting the undead horde that YOU picked as our job today!" Zantu answered

"oh that's nice, hows it going?" asked Gonzo

"Lilly's fucked, Lexi and Kuro are out cold, and I'm almost out of magic. You've got to do it Gonzo!" ordered Zantu, pointing into Gonzo's chest

"why the undead have done nothing to me?" said Gonzo in im-a-selfish-shit mode, forgetting pretty much everything that had happened today

'he must have had a change of personality and forgot what is going on' thought Zantu

"wait. I know." said Zantu with a knowing smile on his face "remember your family being trampled by elephants"

Gonzo instantly changed, no mood swing made him forget that event. Eyes went red, a Black aura appeared spontaneously around him. Hannibal was out.

"what did you say?"

"there is elephants down there and the others are in league with them!" Zantu shouted as quickly as possible, holding his hands in a defensive position in case it didn't work. When he opened his eyes he saw Gonzo sprinting down the hill, craters forming when his feet hit the ground and energy crackling around him.

"hehehe time for plan-s, Plan- psycho (yeah I know it should be plan-p)" laughed Zantu.

Afterword.

Ooooooo Gonzo's crazy! I really love writing Gonzo, maybe because I can change his personality to suit the situation or because I can have him do whatever and it will still make sense or maybe because I think crazy characters are hilarious, maybe all of those reasons. The next chapter will finish the "Boatmurdered" mini-arc and (hopefully) tie into the main story arc.


	6. Chapter 6 Hannibal

Chapter 6 Hannibal

Author's notes

More fighting, I hoped you like the previous chapter, because this ones more of the same. The Prodigy: Spitfire is the song I would recommend for this chapter. The fight is pretty vague because well, if I went into detail then it would become unpalatable, it is very gory. Kuro is the one 'thinking' in the fight, I didn't right any name when I wrote it but it's close enough to what Kuro would think. No-one is reading this so I'm going to discontinue uploading this and convert it into an original fiction instead, if you want to read the original fiction or want me to continue writing this then pm me and I will get back to you.

"speaking"

'thinking'

(me (author) talking)

"oh shit" was what the undead would have thought before running to their undead mothers with their tails between their legs. That is they would of done if they had a brain cell between them. But they didn't. Their brain cells had rotted. Unfortunate for them. Because a homicidal Gonzo was sprinting towards them with a smile that could scare the paint off walls.

Hannibal mode was in full effect. Scary red glowing eyes, black aura, ground seems to be so scared that it buckles wherever he puts his feet down, small chunks of floating dirt seeming to orbit him (see Chunky Up-draft). And to top it: a thunderstorm began its monstrous chorus. Seemed god or whoever (aka Me) has a perchance for the dramatic.

Gonzo's friends were unable to fight, either because of injury (Lilly), exhaustion (Kuro and Zantu) or being unconscious (Lexi). But Gonzo didn't care. Gonzo couldn't even remember who his friends where or even what his name is. All Gonzo could think was 'fight, kill, blood, war, massacre, death, fun, fucking elephants'. Hannibal had been "let out of his cage" before: a minute ago when they were attacked by elephants, for example. But nothing as total as this instance. The people who were still conscious could only watch in awe of the events that transpired.

'glad I don't have to fight him' thought Kuro (I agree).

CRACK-BOOM. The thunder signalled the start of Round 1 of the fight: Gonzo vs Elephants and Undead, take your bets (You know who's my moneys on) let's get this started

'And... wait were the hell did he go'

BOOOOM.

'Oh there he is, he disappeared then reappeared in the horde and everything that was in his way exploded. Interesting.'

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA"

'oh it looks like he has got a holed on his first elephant and is stamping it to death, thaaaaats a lot of blood'

Gonzo is surrounded by skeletons who attack him with their crap weapons, Gonzo is ignoring them and is concentrating on the already dead elephant, letting them hit him.

'oh no this doesn't look good, if he just goes for the elephants then the undead will rip him apart'

The elephant, now looks more like soup. Gonzo, dripping with the blood of the recently deceased mammal, now looks for his next target. Again ignoring all the undead.

BOOOM.

'again with the disappearing, exploding act. Well at least he took out a bunch of undead. And, of for fuck sake Gonzo!'

He was going for another elephant (of course). This time he is using telekinesis to rip the elephants bones out of it, one by one.

'Now that is a lot of blood!'

Gonzo, who at this point looks like the angel of fucking death, gets bored with that elephant after he removed all of it bones (it looked a bit like elephant shaped jelly) and (you guessed it) looked for the next elephant. And...

BOOOOOOOOM.

'lots of dead undead, that elephant was pretty far away. And it doesn't look like Gonzo gives a crap about his injury's. And it doesn't look like many more elephants are left, excellent.'

with this one he decided to go bad-ass and punch it to death with it's own trunk. When the trunk couldn't take any more, he moved on.

BOOOOOM.

Running out of elephants. With this one he dived into it's side and entered the animal as though it was made of water. Then it exploded in masses o' gore with Gonzo in the middle of were it used to be and looking even worse for wear on the aesthetics front, looking like people would start to worship him thinking he's the god of blood.

BOOOOOOOOOOOM.

No more elephants after this one. So he made it last. He started by ***rest of scene censored for your lunches sake * **and after 10 minutes of doing this everyone watching wishes they didn't. Elephant was long dead. There are some this you just **Don't **do.

Well Gonzo looked very happy. And then the undead started to 'give him looks' (don't ask how he thought things with no eyes could 'give looks' in any way, shape, or form). Needless to say, he wasn't happy.

CRACK-BOOM. Round 2.

thwack-thud. Thwack-thud. Thwack-thud. Thwack-thud.

Was the sound Gonzo made as he punched skeletons into the ground, shattering them in the process.

He was getting a good whack-an-undead rhythm going then he hit his first problem, there was a bone golem 'looking at him'. Needless to say he wasn't happy

thwack-thud. Thwack-thud. Thwack-thud. Thwack-thud.

Was the sound Gonzo made as he punched his way to the 'one looking at him' (they are all looking at him!). 10 foot away he raised an open hand into the air in front of him, then made a fist, fast. The bone golem imploded in what would have been a cloud of dust, if it hadn't been raining. Instead it was more of pile of damp bone meal.

'glad I'm not fighting him'

One open hand pointed in one direction. Everything, including the floor, ripped, torn, flayed, shattered until the different materials were indistinguishable. Another open hand in another direction and the same ensued. Gonzo was well on his way to turn, not just the undead army, but the battlefield itself into little more than dust.

'shit, horrors'

Gonzo didn't see or sense the horror screaming down at him, looking to claim it's prize (they like faces remember?). The Horror can to within a metre and stopped and floated there while Gonzo turned to face the new threat

'he's done for.'

Gonzo leaped up and grabbed the Horrors... Horrifying face. And tore it off.

'no way'

then he sniffed the gelatinous mass he had taken as the faceless horror screamed and flayed about. Apparently it didn't smell good as he threw it away (good Gonzo, eating Horrors is bad).

'well at least we found out something useful today; horrors faces don't smell appetising... Not like I thought they where, it's just nice to know for certain.'

Gonzo punched the face-less horror up into a few of it's fellows in the sky, hitting them and they toppled earthward. Gonzo thought 'that big one is looking at me' (again with the... oh never mind)

"Gonzo!" shouted Kuro (it's like he read his thoughts! (not like they are hard to read)) as he threw Lexi's very large knife at him, it was a very long throw so he had to do run up.

Gonzo merely glared as the knife stabbed into the earth a few feet from him. Gonzo picked it up and tested it weight and then threw it at the "big one" (bone golem to you and me). It hit with such force that the knife went through the golems skull and through a few regular skeletons before it embedded itself in a hillside a few hundred feet away. Needless to say the golem was dead. A knife through the skull does that to you, even if you a 20 foot high thing made of the bones of random animals.

'I think it got the... point. (I know its bad but it made me smile)'

Gonzo bent down and picked up a handful of the dust that he created from the bones of his enemy's and the battlefield itself a minute ago. Grunted and threw the stuff at the skeletons in front of him. Again Gonzo showed off his skill at throwing things really hard (I think he should play baseball or cricket.) as the dust hit the skeletons with enough force to break them into dust themselves.

'there's... not a lot left... of anything to be honest.'

there was a few straggles left but Gonzo just used them as clubs to kill the others and it was done.

"Final" word

too bad no-one is reading this (save my friend in rl) because I had fun writing it, the main reason I'm stopping is because I can't stop thinking about making a Original Fiction so its impossible for me to write the fanfic. Too bad I didn't get to Fairy Tail, I would have liked to write some about the canon characters but that's life. Most of the OC's in this fanfic will find a new life in the Original fiction, and maybe they will end up in fairy tail after all (yeah I might have a alternate dimension adventure that just happens to be fairy tail or have Fiore as a country in the OF and they can cameo). By the way if you didn't realise this chapter should be twice as long but I lost the will to write, sorry about that.


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